He is a successful businessman who has many young, beautiful women reporting to him. These girls appear to be willing to do anything to please my husband. In addition, he is an extrovert and gets along well with people. I am not sure what my 59-year-old husband is thinking but it does not appear that we are having sex as frequently or that he is as satisfied as before or, as interested as before.

What can I do to spice up our sex life this holiday season and the rest of the marriage?

A. Congratulations on being married for 28 years and having a satisfying sex life. It is not uncommon for wives to want to know how to get back to the sexual arousal and activity levels they experienced in earlier years when they first got married. However, those years will not come back. Instead, find ways to optimise your body's response for sexual arousal now. Engage in sexual activities that are satisfying and acceptable for your age and your husband's age.

You need to understand that reduced activity is not necessarily because your husband is unfaithful but comes with the territory and age. Testosterone plays a critical role in your husband's sexual experience. Testosterone levels tend to peak in the late teens and then gradually decline. Most men notice a difference in their sexual response by age 60. The penis may take longer to become erect and erections may not be as firm. It may take longer to achieve full arousal. You, therefore, will have to be more patient with your husband and give more stimulation.

You are at the age where you could be approaching menopause, hence your questions about appearing desirable to your husband. In addition, you may be more interested in sex with your husband because you do not have to worry about pregnancy.

Unfortunate, unnecessary.

Additionally, you are comparing yourself with your husband's employees which is unfortunate and unnecessary. You might not be as young - as you would have experienced changes in body shape and size - but it does not mean that your husband is finding you less sexually desirable.

There are other factors that could be affecting your husband's sexual frequency. He could be having health issues which can affect sexual function. Illnesses that involve the cardiovascular system, high blood pressure and diabetes can affect his sexual performance. For example, if your husband has high blood pressure it could affect his ability to become aroused, as can certain medications used to treat high blood pressure. In addition, in this very difficult business climate, he could be anxious and depressed which could pose potential sexual-health issues.

Furthermore, your husband's female employees could be very willing at the work place because they want to keep their jobs in this time of lay-offs, job cuts and redundancies. Unless you have compelling evidence of hanky-panky, then quit fretting.

The most important things to improve your sex life are - stop fretting about those young girls at the workplace; recognise your sex life will undergo changes as you age; and have a sex talk with your husband about your needs and his feelings.

Enjoy each other over the holidays and the rest of your marriage.

Contact the counsellor ateditor@gleanerjm.com.